THE QUIET KID. The silent member usually looks bored, but often it is fear that keeps him from getting involved. He doesn’t want to say the wrong thing. Encourage him to speak and then give immediate support to his comments. You may need to call on the silent members by name. Ask a question they can answer. Affirm their answer and then move on to the next person so they are no longer the center of attention. It is critical to involve everyone, especially the quiet kid.

    THE KID THAT WON’T SHUT UP. (The overbearing monopolizer.) this girl or guy always has something to say on every topic. It can be tough to get them to shut up. You should never allow one or two people to monopolize the discussion. It kills discussion and group participation and can even cause resentment from others in the group toward the non-stop talker. Compliment their knowledge, but ask them to let others speak. This is easier to do in a small group, but if a problem persists you may need to talk to them one-on-one outside of the meeting time. If you need to confront someone, it is best to do it quick and smooth rather than put it off.

    THE NEEDY STUDENT. This is the kid who sees the small group as his or her own personal counseling session. However, the needy student (different from the overbearing monopolize) may genuinely have some serious problems or he or she is dealing with. You will want to help this student as much as possible, but he or she needs to understand that this is more than a counseling session. It is a time for all the

students to be actively involved in the learning. You may need to spend some extra time outside of the actual meeting to counsel this student. However, if his or her problems are outside your realm of expertise, seek help. Do what you can, but don’t feel that you must do it all.

    THE PEER PRESSURED PARTICIPANTS. These are the ones who never seem to have their own answers. They follow the crowd even in discussions. They give answers that have already been given or they give “church answers,” that is, saying all the answers they think you want them to say. Because you are in a small accountability group, you can push for real answers. Just make it a rule that you won’t accept repeat answers. Let’s say the question is, why don’t Christian teens speak out concerning their faith more often? First Rebecca speaks up and answers, “Fear.” When Jen also says, “Fear,” I ask her to elaborate. “Jen, what do you think they are afraid of?”; “Have you ever been afraid to speak up?”; “When?”; “Why?” The goal is to get them to think.